I've been totally lame about updating recently, nothings really been going on ( except more Bradshaw dates, but how lame is it to only post about them over and over? everyone except Jessica can respond).
I'm having a totally "Ugly" day...couple of days...i even dyed my hair darker (pictures to come) to try and pull myself from this slump...it worked for a few hours.
i don't know what it is, i feel wrong in my skin...i picture myself the way i looked in high school (skinny, no braces, tan) and then i catch a glimpse of my chubby-brace-face-pale self in the mirror and i feel the horrid lump rising in my probably much too vain throat. (the fact that I've been working out like crazy, at least for me, and haven't lost any weight is just icing on the cake). i just want to go to the beach with no shame...or seduce my husband with out thinking "who am i kidding?"
and as for my skin: what the heck?! I'm MEXICAN, i should be tan...thanks mom, for your dominating pigment tone!
Braces make me saddest. they put like 8 pound more metal in my mouth this past check up because my stubborn teeth arn't moving fast enough. so now i can't chew much at all, and it hurts when Blake kisses me. (that poor man puts up with so much! i know sometimes hes just gotta think "i did not sign up for this!") but i suppose in two years I'll have a nice smile...you know, when I'm pregnant and bloated...that'll be fantastic!!!
Geesh...even the days i spend that extra time to do my makeup and everything i still fell like I'm not fooling anyone...
I'm not looking for any reassuring comments, i wont believe you anyway...i just needed to vent.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
DO NOT READ IF YOU DONT WANT TO HEAR ME COMPLAIN
Posted by Paige at 3:50 PM
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3 comments:
Hey, you're entitled to complain. I think you're dead wrong, of course, but it's not what I think, or what Jay thinks, or what Blake thinks...it's what you think when you look in the mirror, and if you're looking in the mirror going "UGH!," then that's what we need to fix.
Unfortunately, the braces have to stay on for now, but you'll be SOOOO glad that all the photos of you smiling down at your teeny tiny baby (when you guys get around to that) will be with straight, perfect teeth. Seriously. So, pain now, but WAY worth it later.
As for the tan, well, I'm a ruddy ghost, so you'll get no sympathy from me...although I have some fake tanning lotion I never ever use, so if you want it, well, there...that's corrected.
Skinny? We're working on it, but that takes time, too. If you weren't so blame HAPPY with Blake, it would never have been a problem (just like me with Jason), so thank God for your weight...it means you've found the perfect man and you're so happy you're living it up (albeit occasionally with yummy treats). Try alli. You'll never cheat on your diet again.
Anyway, I love you tons, and you're stunning, (and you have a way-better top half than I'll have even after augmentation,) and your hubby loves you and can't wait to be naughty with you, so life is still good, even if it takes a few extra minutes of primping to feel great before you walk out the door. So...you're adorable, and don't forget it. But feel free to whine and complain. Lord knows I do it. :)
Jess is totally right! Braces suck , but so worth it...I had them for 5 years and so much more dental work done before that. I am Italian and I am almost see through. But, the sun is bad for us, so learn to love your color or do the spray tan. Good job gymming it up, (i just made that word up...lol). Weight watchers total worked for me. I loved going to the gym the other day too. I am working on toning. When ever I have a ugh! day I take a long shower and cuddle up on the couch or go on a walk. Cheer up young cub!!! :) :) :) :)
your right you should just live in a closet or something and never come out, i have an idea... stop shaving so you can be hairy too. ooooh yea. im all over that, ooops and dont forget to let your toenails grow really long and let the lint in your belly button run free, you really might as well just stop showering all together honestly. maybe even grow some dread locks those are a serious turn on i heard a story about some guy having spiders in his or something and they laid eggs in his hair, maybe one day you could be as cool as him, MAYBE dont get your hopes up though.
geeze paige im going to slap you in the jugular. lets go to the gym this week yea???? oooh and we could totally fake bake too! problem solved, but i usually feel fatter after i work out, weird huh?
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